I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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