I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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