I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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