you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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