He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize