my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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