$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize