You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize