We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize