im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize