Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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