why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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