i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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