Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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