I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize