I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize