Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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