So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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