I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize