On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
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It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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