everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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