She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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