I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
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I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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