evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
my liver is dry heaving
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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