does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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