Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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