I'm eating all of the evidence.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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