I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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