I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize