he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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