You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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