It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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