I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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