Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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