I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize