Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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