she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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