you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
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Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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