I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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