Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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