i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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