she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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