I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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