I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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