Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize