Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize