"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize