i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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