Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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