she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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